Kettle corn

Kettle corn

Handwritten page of a diary dated April 4, 1992

He thinks I’m going out on the road with him this summer, he’s lost a few more marbles than I already thought he lost. I got stuff to do. He says I’m at a age when I should be helpin out around here but if you want to know the truth, he should just about give me credit for inventing kettle popcorn. I always made that stuff for parties and my fan club (ha ha) there they are, crowded around the kettle in the backyard, smellin it and dyin for it to be ready and then sayin they never tasted anything like it, so sweet AND salty. So it’s possible I did invent it. I’m an idea man. That should be my contribution, instead of spendin the summer with my stupid dad at some fairs in Whoopteedoo Texas when it’s 600 farrenhite.

Say some cute Texas girl comes around to flirt with me, what am I gonna do with my dad standin there in overalls expecting me to stop talkin Rico Suave to her and whip up another batch of my secret recipe? Next thing you know, he’s deciding that overalls and barber shop short haircuts are the uniform of our family kettle corn cartel. If a Texas girl flirted with me when I was wearin that uniform, I would expect she probably had her own problems.

That day I took the above photo, I was out there helpin him work on his technique because I want him to have a chance to get his batches tasting closer to as good as mine. And I was wearin my sister’s glasses with the purple frames. I took a clue from Klinger on my stupid dad’s favorite TV show, Mash, which made me also put on a pink shirt and hope that my dad — a guy who grew up in the U.S.A. of Colonel Potter — would not want his son by his side if that son was wearin a pink shirt and purple glasses. Unfortunately for me, my stupid dad barely noticed.

So now on to Plan B, which is even more genius, and quite hilarioso if you ask me

Advertisements
Published in: on February 22, 2010 at 9:15 am  Leave a Comment