Refrigerator magnet defense

Refrigerator magnets spell "punch me in the face"Handwritten page of a diary dated July 18, 1977

so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I will now tell you why I should be pronounced innocent and not be sent to jail (my bedroom).

That’s the way I was talking to my mom. It was risky because sometimes she tells me not to be a wisenheimer, but sometimes I can get a smile out of her, especially if she had a really boring day at work.

She said “Your brother says you smacked him. Did you?”

“That’s an interesting question your honor. I would have to say that yes, technically I did hit him, but I have a reason. He spelled PUNCH ME IN THE FACE with the refrigerator magnets.”

She looked over at the refrigerator and the sentence was gone by now. Luckily I thought ahead, and presented her with Exhibit A, which was a Polaroid picture I took that morning to prove that sentence was there.

I said “Your honor, said boy needs to learn that you shouldn’t say that type of thing unless you mean it, and therefore I think I should be given leniency since I taught him a valuable lesson he can use later in his life.”

She was rubbing her temples, which is never a good sign. I said “your honor if you’ll take a closer look at Exhibit A you’ll see that he wasn’t just goofing around! He went to a lot of trouble to spell out this exact sentence, seeing’s how we lost all the E magnets and he had to use the upside down 3s. I believe this should be seen as a cry for help on his part, and I think your honor should rule that he gets the help he so desperately needs.”

Well, she didn’t thank me like I wanted, ha ha, but at least she didn’t


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Published in: on March 16, 2010 at 4:30 am  Leave a Comment