One-armed grandma

Handwritten page of a diary dated October 10, 1963

and that’s how I got 14 stitches. Now I just took a pain pill they gave me. Never felt like this before. Head is spinning around. Good thing I already did my homework. But can’t walk on my foot too much. Stuck here in my room. Thinking about my grandma — who had something worse than 14 stitches. After she died, I thought Mom would finally tell me how grandma lost her arm. No. Guess it’s a secret for the end of time.

Here are some guesses:
1. I once saw a picture of grandma as a child with two arms. Playing piano. Maybe she was in a piano-playing contest. And her rival didn’t want her to win — so she chopped off grandma’s arm.
2. Maybe a madman broke into their house and held them hostage and she tried to escape. So he chopped off the only part of her that hadn’t made it out the window — her left arm.
3. Maybe my grandpa had a girlfriend on the side. So grandma told him if he didn’t stop she would chop off her own arm. Then he got caught again. So she chopped off her arm to make him feel guilty.
4. Maybe when grandma was young she was laying in the street. Looking up at the stars. But she fell asleep. And a car drove over her arm.
5. Maybe she was attacked by a swarm of killer bees.
6. Maybe before she met my grandpa she had a boyfriend — an Indian who carved totem poles. With a power saw

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Original image: http://www.squareamerica.com/search/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/ar725.jpg
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Published in: on April 29, 2010 at 4:30 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I dunno…Grampa looks more than a little like Ed Gein. There’s another possible explanation…


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