didnt even kiss her

Handwritten page of a diary dated March 27, 2007

after eating her burrito she started playing with the foil they put on top of our nachos.

shes pretty hot and she actually paid for the food.

when she made a pair of glasses out of the foil i thought it was funny. when she wanted to wear the glasses while we walked to the movie theater i was like hmmmm. when she stopped and said she wouldnt go in the movies unless i wore the glasses we just stood there for a long time. like 20 minutes. she thinks shes more stubborn than me? doubt it. im not wearing clown glasses. people know me in this town.

finally she says i really want to see this movie and she threw the glasses in a trashcan. after the movie i didnt even kiss her.

didnt really think shed call me back but she texted already this morning. wants to buy me another burrito. i said maybe.

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/51035643155@N01/2994001075
Published in: on January 31, 2011 at 11:33 am  Comments (2)  

Van Halen you are MINE

Handwritten page of a diary dated August 1, 1985

now looks like I am totally going to get the loan I need from K. After I got my hands on the choice photo of her partying, I got a copy made and enclosed it in an envelope with this letter:

In case you’ve forgotten the amount I want to borrow, it is $75, which I know you have available.
If you loan it to me, then Mom will not get another copy of the photo I have enclosed.

Reasons I think you should think very carefully about my proposal:

1. You can’t say you were just posing with that bottle and pretending to drink it, because you have ketchup stains all over your shirt (which she will think is the kind of a sloppy thing a drunk person might walk around wearing).
2. Remember she said, when Em wore that wig on Halloween, that is was something a ‘lady of the evening’ would wear.
3. And don’t forget — she doesn’t even know your ears are pierced!!!!!

I will be expecting the money from you in this envelope before supper.

So now it is a sure thing I will get my walkman before the bogus car trip across the country. And now when my dad barfs me out with Lionel Richie on the car radio, I can blast Van Halen in my ears instead.

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/26814941@N04/3003197949/
Published in: on January 29, 2011 at 10:39 am  Leave a Comment  

Penny candy

Handwritten page of a diary dated February 16, 1967

it’s a dumb rule to say the least.

Every night when he gets home from work, he empties out his pennies, and drops off the paper clip from the report his boss makes him read. I can’t take any of the pennies unless I also take a paper clip and do something creative with it.
He knows why I want the pennies, namely:

Pixy Stix
Lik-m-aid and Fizzies
Jawbreakers
Rock candy
Beeman’s gum
Wax Lips
and most of all — BB Batts suckers, but only the pink ones (the yellow is a horrid imitation banana flavor

The cheapskate always says it’s cheaper if your mom just buys you Chiclets gum or Saf-T pops or jellybeans or Milk Duds at the grocery store — but isn’t that boring? Yes it is.

You should see some of the stupid things I have made with paper clips. Well, ho ho, Dad doesn’t know it yet, but I have a plan. This summer when school gets out I’m going to get some balsa wood and build an exact replica of the Golden Gate bridge in San Franciso California. Because of my master plan, I already went to the library and learned about abutments, girders, beams, trestles, and trusses. Plus I understand oscillation and torsion.

So Mr. Cheapskate. Looks like the joke will be on YOU.

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Photo courtesy of Andy Levine
Published in: on January 27, 2011 at 12:23 pm  Comments (5)  

I belong with your uncle

Handwritten page of a diary dated May 26, 1997

the breakup day was all scheduled and everything. It was only four days away. But he wanted me to go to his Uncle Leon’s house which I said no to until I found out it was right on the lake.

Arrived late. Had the coziest night of sleep (by myself) in one of Uncle Leon’s guest bedrooms and when I woke up I could see the lake — RIGHT THERE, walking distance. Just laid there looking out the window until I smelled food. Turns out Leon is a most amazing cook. Made a giant breakfast and told stories that made me laugh and laugh.

Then Corey wanted me to go swimming with him, but I said it’s too cold. He went out there anyway and jumped in the lake. I washed dishes with Uncle Leon and then I went into his living room and he showed me a photo album in which, when he was Corey’s age, Leon was much cooler looking. Wild hair and easy easy smile. Then Leon and I went out and walked around a while and sat in a porch swing watching Corey jump off the dock.

I need to tell Corey to go back home without me. I want to live in this house. I know Leon is double my age or more, but if he doesn’t want me for his girlfriend then I’ll be his adopted daughter. Or his live-in maid. Whatever it takes. I’m not leaving here.

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Original image: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/t0gcq91ZL2di3qS-xveVdw
Published in: on January 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm  Leave a Comment  

I know the town, but it has no sound

Handwritten page of a diary dated April 11, 1989

he loves junk stores. I love them but Stevie LOVES them. I usually agree to go with him if he waits a month between times. It takes that long for them to get new stuff to gawk at.

Today I was trying to look at a mannequin on a high shelf. She was wearing a hard hat and a boa which I found kind of comical. But then I saw her elbow was pointing to a sign about Des Moines. I lived in Des Moines for a long time. I should buy that sign. When the salesman came round, I said – How much for that sign? and he said – one hunnert dollars. He had a funny way of pronouncing hundred – which I’m surprised I even noticed that he did because that’s more money than I have ever spent in one day and it kind of shocked me to hear the words. Only thing I have to pay for is gas for the old car daddy lets me use – and that is enough to buy 100 gallons of it!

After I got over the shock of the price of that sign, I looked at it better for the first time. Wait a minute. I said – Stevie, the sign says ‘the town on the sound.’ There’s no sound in Iowa. Alls there is in Des Moines is Grays Lake. Stevie says -There must be a Des Moines in another state. Some state with an ocean.

I had to make Stevie take me to his house even though he didn’t want to because his mom thinks we are going out, which we are not. But they have an enormous atlas book at their house. I was determined to follow my finger all up and down the ocean states, and you can believe my usual good luck was with me because I started on the top left and there was a Des Moines right there in Washington state. And more good luck was that Stevie’s mom had just made fresh squeezed lemonade, which my mom only ever makes from a frozen can. Those two kinds of lemonade are as different as Des Moines Washington must be from Des Moines Iowa.

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/litlnemo/3209265780/in/photostream/
Published in: on January 24, 2011 at 5:59 pm  Leave a Comment  

Written test

Handwritten page of a diary dated July 13, 1978

kept saying he had a lot of questions to ask me to make sure I was the right girlfriend for him then yesterday he picks me up, using his mom’s car and I still didn’t think anything of it when we pulled up to the DMV until he says you’re here to take your WRITTEN TEST.

Huh?

He said I’m giving you my very own WRITTEN TEST, so I think this is a good place to take it, since that’s what people do here but I said they won’t want me in the way of people taking their driving tests and he said a lady in his apartment building works here and she said it was an unusual request (that’s an understatement) but it was ok on a Tuesday because it was a slow day.

So he stands me by window 17 and he hands me a number 2 pencil and the test. Here are some of the questions:

On Saturday Night Live which two people play brothers who say they are “Two Wild and Crazy Guys”?
Do you own albums that have any of the following singers: Andy Gibb, that chick who sings You Light Up My Life, Barry Manilow, Kenny Rogers, Captain & Tenille, Bay City Rollers, Donna Summer?
If you could date any other guy at our school, who would you choose?
Which would you hang around with: Reed and Malloy from “Adam 12” or Roy and Johnny from “Emergency”?
Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?
Who do you relate to more: Farrah Fawcett-Majors or Patty Hearst?

Before I left, I told the lady we’d be back next Tuesday because I’ve decided he has to take a test too, to qualify to be my boyfriend and she said, “good idea.”

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lydiat/515584936/
Published in: on January 22, 2011 at 12:23 pm  Comments (1)  

Let’s hope there’s a future in computers

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 27, 1973

such a weridie. Even when he does the dopieset weirdest things mom and dad are not even worried about it. Sure. They’re so much older than me. They’ll be dead when it’s time for him to go out in this world to make a living which of course he won’t be able to do because even though he will be smart he will also be a loner and everyone will say – but he’s your brother so you should let him live with you. I’ll by then be a famous poet throwing a party with all my bohemian artist friends and my brother will wander in my living room and want to turn on the TV because he can’t miss a single minute of Adam-12, even though it’s a rerun. Or whatever show is popular by then – probably some show about robots taking over the world with their computerized brains.

Well, when he moves into my fabulous home I’ll stick him up in an attic room with a giant punch-card computer and hope that he learns a way to make money off of being weird and smart. Then I can retire at a young age to have more time to travel around the world meeting the fans of my poetry.

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Original image: http://www.stockvault.net/photo/111767/shy-kid
Published in: on January 21, 2011 at 2:39 am  Comments (2)  

chow fun?

Handwritten page of a diary dated March 25, 2000

… just met her when I escaped from dads house for a while. we were both sitting on different rocks by the riverbed and listening to ipods. i said, let me see whats on yours. we ended up in an argument over which is the best Weezer  album (Pinkerton no doubt)

then she tells me — be back here around 4 p.m. and she starts to run away. i say wait, whats yer name? she says ‘chow fun’. I think thats what she said. I looked it up and all I see is recipes for chinese food. is she named after chinese food? Or was she saying chow as in bye, and fun as in she had fun talking to me? I guess I wont know for another hour.

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/arcticpuppy/4436280965/
Published in: on January 19, 2011 at 2:46 pm  Leave a Comment  

Oh, you’re an actress

Handwritten page of a diary dated May 28, 1991

met her when she was working at a used clothing shop. I had agreed to go to Phil’s wedding and realized I didn’t even own a tie. She found me a good one and agreed to have lunch with me and pretty soon I’m over at her apartment, which was much nicer than mine and I told her so. She said she had some extra income from some acting she does from time to time. I thought wow, good gig.

When I went to the bathroom there was an extra door in there and I opened it out of curiosity. Her closet. On one side was normal clothes like she was wearing today. On the other side, rows of costumes, well let’s just say the kind of costumes they are make me think she does a different kind of acting than I originally thought. Too soon to ask her about it, but I really would like to know what she does with the big collection of aprons.

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/11557559@N04/3878394349
Published in: on January 18, 2011 at 12:51 pm  Comments (1)  

These are the people in your neighborhood

Handwritten page of a diary dated March 31, 1966

gave me this old-fashioned birthday card and said  “this is four neighborhood friends like us” so I read the poem about sharing and I thanked them, but I thought these girls aren’t anything like us.

Then later I gave that picture a closer look and I started seeing what’s really going on there.

Let’s say you start from the left and name them A  B  C  and  D.

A is telling B that she’s underdressed for the occasion and she’s going to make them all look bad. B is saying, I asked for comfortable clothes, but they gave me shoes are about 10 sizes too small for a person of my size and you should just be happy I’m wearing lace because believe me, when I grow up I will never ever wear anything with lace on it.

D is thinking any time I get something good I have to share it with my annoying sister C. C is asking D a hundred questions as usual and D is trying to close her eyes and pretend she’s in a peaceful quiet alternate universe where she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters.

So yeah, this picture is more like us than I originally thought.

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Original image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chicks57/4025776101/sizes/m/in/photostream/
Published in: on January 16, 2011 at 5:49 pm  Comments (2)