Santa will die

Handwritten page of a diary dated September 18, 1976

but putting magic marker all over my Kiss poster was the final straw. I don’t care if she’s only 5 years old I vowed to make her life miserable and today was my first opportunity.

We played at that mini golf place out on the highway and the guy in front of us had white hair. I said Jenny look it’s Santa and she smiled at him.

But then whenever Mom wasn’t in hearing distance I said stuff like Look Jenny, Santa’s lost a lot of weight. He doesn’t have rosy cheeks any more. He musta gotten sick since last Christmas. See how different he looks than when you saw him at the mall? I guess he could be anorexic now. I think Santa might drop dead at any moment. I bet his reindeer will starve to death after he’s not around to feed them any more. I doubt if you’ll get any presents next Christmas.

See how I did that all gradual-like? I am so good at being devious because I’m patient enough to drag it out. By the time we got back in the car Jenny was crying her head off and you know how much Mom was able to figure out why? A big ZERO that’s how much.


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Published in: on February 13, 2011 at 10:24 am  Comments (1)