Thousand Island dressing

Handwritten page of a diary dated October 14, 1959

go out to eat and my mom always says “they will all have a salad with Thousand Island dressing.”

Sometimes this dressing tastes very good and not too sweet and has just a little tang. Not like Tang like we drink for breakfast, but I looked up what tang means, which is a sharp distinctive often lingering flavor.

But sometimes this dressing tastes like a slop someone formed by mixing ketchup and mayonnaise and an entirely full bag of sugar.

When I first began eating it, I didn’t know it was named for some islands in the upper part of New York and the lower part of Canada. It’s good that I have a set of encyclopedias at home because we never did learn this at school. On one of these islands around the very beginnings of this century an actress got the recipe off some lady who invented the dressing. The actress gave it to a man who was building a castle to spend the summers in and he owned the Waldorf-Astoria hotel, which started serving that dressing.

I expected that encyclopedia to say there aren’t really a thousand of those islands in that area, but really. It showed a picture of somebody’s house (not even a huge house) using up one whole island. BUT that is not even the smallest island if you would like to count the islands with only one tree, and if you do that means there are more like 1,700 islands, which I guess they did not count all those tree islands when they named the dressing.


Original image:
Published in: on March 6, 2011 at 3:22 am  Comments (3)  

‘Make my day’

Handwritten page of a diary dated September 25, 2008

because there was a mean old lady next door and we laughed at her when she came out in her old lady shoes and said “you kids get outta my yard.” It freaks me out that I’m probably now the age she was back then. And now I have the problem about kids in my yard. But when I was a kid we were just running on the grass, not hurting anything. The kids in my yard bring spray paint. I don’t care if they run on my grass, but if they’re gonna paint stuff, then it makes me want to go rogue on them. But “you kids get outta my yard” won’t exactly work.

So today Evelyn invites me to the movies. Wants to see Gran Torino. She loves Clint Eastwood ever since The Bridges of Madison County. I thought Gran Torino was a movie about a car, so I had to be talked into it. But I got interested when I saw old Clint Eastwood’s character had the same problem I have, defending his house.

I came home and I found a picture of old Clint giving someone his mean look and I taped it up to the wall so I could better channel him. You see Clint’s eyes, and you know who it is. When those kids come back with their spray paint, I’m going to go out there and give them the mean eyes. I’m going to demand they leave, but I’m going to talk softly and use phrases like Clint says. I don’t know if I’ll triumph, but I will enjoy doing it.


Original image:

Published in: on March 3, 2011 at 5:37 pm  Leave a Comment