A real ghost

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 15, 1970

…  then Grandma says she can prove to me that ghosts are real and I will never again have any doubts. I say You must be joking with me. She pulls out a framed picture of her own mother and says There’s a real ghost in there — plain as day.

I say Grandma you know the photographer coulda been pulling your mother’s leg because I think he worked up a double exposure on here to get her going. She says, no they didn’t even have double exposures back in them days. I say if that’s a real ghost then this picture would be valuable.

I’d like to kick myself for telling her that because now she wants me to find out who we need to call to sell this picture to a magazine or something and make some bigtime dough.


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Published in: on September 28, 2011 at 12:58 pm  Leave a Comment  

Troll doll obituary

Handwritten page of a diary dated July 29, 1964

…  and since it’s her dog that wrecked my troll doll I expect her to use her own allowance to buy me another one. After all Mom said I could only have four (Sandra in my homeroom has at least TEN!!!!) so I spent half the summer picking out what color hair I wanted for each one. And now this means I have no pink.

I asked Mom if we could have the dog put to sleep for doing such a thing but she just looked at me like I was kookie.

What a stupid dog. Eating rubber. Did he think there was some raw hamburger inside or did he just want me to suffer?


Published in: on September 21, 2011 at 4:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

Elvis died

Handwritten page of a diary dated September 2, 1977

…  since Elvis has been dead more than two weeks, youda thought my mom woulda stopped gettin tears in her eyes every single day and stopped havin to play over and over her record of Suspicious Minds. When I happen to get a chance to use the record player to hear a better song I love — which is Hotel California — she runs down the basement to look at her Elvis posters taped all over one wall.

So my dad comes in and says we got worse problems than the death of Elvis, namely money and then he turns to me and says if I wanna start drivin the car around I better get a job because in case I hadn’t noticed gas is 65 cents a gallon now.


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Published in: on September 15, 2011 at 6:08 am  Comments (2)  

‘Zoot Suit Riot’

Handwritten page of a diary dated November 12, 1998

…  new show called Will and Grace, except it’s not really new when you consider IT’S ABOUT MY LIFE. Can they do that? Write about me and Stevie and Adam and not pay us royalties? I guess the main difference is that we have no character of Karen (which is too bad because we could use a friend with lots of money since the other difference is that Stevie and I don’t have jobs).

Tonight after Stevie and I watched Will and Grace on TV, we were trying to actually study for once so far this semester, but then Adam came over to the library and wanted Stevie to come back to the dorm and make up a dance with him to the song “Gettin’ Jiggy With It.” At first Stevie said no and it took half the night for Adam to convince him, but finally Stevie said yes maybe he felt like dancing after all. But only if they used the song “Zoot Suit Riot” instead. And only if I took their picture while they danced.


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Published in: on September 8, 2011 at 5:01 am  Leave a Comment  

Blue plate special

Handwritten page of a diary dated January 30, 1988

asked her what was for dinner and she said “The blue plate special” and I said what’s a blue plate special and she said “You never heard of a blue plate special?” and I said no and she looked at me funny so I guess it was something that was very very popular in the olden days.

It turned out the blue plate special is meat loaf (gag me) but at least it was ok after pouring on about all the ketchup in the world. Her baked potatoes are better than my mom’s too.

First she got out a special plate that was blue and let me set that one at my place on the table. I said this looks like the Blue Brick Road, and she said “Huh?” and I said you know — like the yellow brick road only light blue. She said “Yeah I guess it does” and handed me a bowl of peas. I took a big helping of them, which confused her since I usually complain about peas. But then when I started lining them up on the blue brick road, she understood, and I gotta give her credit because she didn’t try to stop me like my mom woulda.


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Published in: on September 2, 2011 at 3:52 am  Comments (2)