Slept like a baby in the Airstream

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 19, 1964

having a world of trouble sleeping again. Makes me look back on my night in Duane’s Airstream trailer coupla weeks ago. Now THAT dear diary was the only good night of sleep I’ve managed to get in the last ten or so years.

I think when Duane offered me the chance to camp out in it, he thought maybe he was about to be getting lucky inside there with me, but he shoulda known me better than that by now. Yes I always liked his truck and yes I like his new trailer no doubt. But you think that means I’m going to marry him? No it does not. And did I make him sleep in the front seat of his truck that night? Yes I assuredly did.

It wasn’t the bed in that trailer that was so comfortable. Heaven knows my own bed here in my place is bigger. And it wasn’t altogether that quiet out there. The campers over behind were playing the radio so long that I heard songs come back up on the rotation and I swear I heard “Dang Me Dang Me ought take a rope and hang me” by Roger Miller at least a coupla three times. But still and all, I felt restful.

What I need is to find a way to get me one of those trailers for myself without marrying Duane and get a little piece of land on the outskirts of town with trees (but no loud-radio-playing country&western-loving neighbors). Then I’ll settle into a world of good sleep.


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Published in: on March 31, 2012 at 1:52 am  Comments (1)  

‘I’m Looking Through You’


Handwritten page of a diary dated March 27, 1966

… doesn’t even come in my room that often, so I was suspicious. Then he picks up my Rubber Soul album and starts looking at it very closely. He was clutching it in his hands and acting funny, like he was about to make a run for it. But what would he want with a Beatles album? The only record player in this house is in my room, and he listens to a radio station that plays Perry Como.

He said “this guy at work gave me a book to read about the Beatles” so I said “good, let me look at it.” But he just kept walking around nervously. Then he said “Have you ever wished you lived in Russia?” I said no and tried not to look at him like he’s flipped. He said “how do you FEEL when you hear this band?” I just shrugged because I don’t know what he’s trying to get at.

I’m glad to say he put the album down before he left the room. He’s so weird.


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Published in: on March 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm  Leave a Comment  

Sophia Vergara does the cha cha?

Handwritten page of a diary dated November 4, 2009

watching “Modern Family” last night when Grandma was over and she kept saying who is that pretty woman with the accent? I’m like I don’t know Grandma, this show’s pretty new. But she was like I’ve seen that woman before so get on your computer and tell me her name. I was like ok ok and I find out her name is Sophia Vergara but Grandma says no that is not ringing any bells.

Then today Grandma drives all the way back over here and the minute she gets out of the car, she’s holding one of her old records up in the air screaming this is Sophia Vergara and Billy May is chasing her. I say who is Billy May? That guy who did infomercials? Didn’t he just die recently? She was like no that’s Billy MAYS. So I want to know who Billy MAY is UNTIL I see the picture of him, and then I don’t even want to know any more — in fact I’ll probably now have a bad dream that he’s chasing me too wearing his cha cha pants.

I’m like Grandma what year did you get this record? and she’s like I don’t know I think I got it when your mother was a baby, which, I say, means it’s probably not Sophia Vergara. Then she’s quiet for a while till she says BUT it could very well be her mother.


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Published in: on March 13, 2012 at 5:50 pm  Leave a Comment  

Princess Di commemorative plate, gone for good

Handwritten page of a diary dated October 21, 2007

uncle snuck me in to see ‘Paranormal Activity’ last night even though it’s rated R and even though I told him the commercial on TV looked pretty creepy. But that wasn’t the bad part. I could take it. I admit it was kinda hard to go to bed because these people in the movie had demons in their bed, but I got to sleep. Almost no problem.

Then at 3 a.m. I hear this really loud music and see lights dancing around my head and I start screaming like a little girl and my uncle says ‘Dude shut up or you’ll wake up your grandma and she’ll kill me’ and he was right. Pretty soon my grandma is running down the hall swinging a golf club and she ends up cracking one of her commemorative plates she has hanging up in the hall.

Then this morning Uncle Dave is saying to my grandma, ‘I don’t know why you blame me. I didn’t think he’d scream like that — I wasn’t playing a scary song, I was playing ‘I’m a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World.’

Then he showed us the coat he was wearing which he plugged in and she said she probably woulda liked the coat if it hadn’t led to her breaking her one-of-a-kind Princess Di plate which probably couldn’t be replaced any more after all these years Diana’s been dead and buried.


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Published in: on March 10, 2012 at 8:25 am  Comments (1)  

My new orange pad

Handwritten page of a diary dated March 24, 1970

… and even if I’m going to be someone who lives in his parents’ basement for a while I’m still sooner or later going to have to bring over some “hah ah ah ah ah honky tonk women”. (I’m lucky there’s a door that goes into the basement from the back yard and I don’t have to parade my Cherie Amours in front of the old people. Yeah, you have to walk by the washing machine, but if I leave the light off and just kind of guide her in, maybe she won’t see it.)

Of course I didn’t want to bring down the kid stuff from my old bedroom upstairs. But I don’t have much money to jazz the place up. So my mom says you can do a lot with material. “You used to go to the fabric store with me all the time” my mom said. She said “You get several yards of whatever you like and spread it around and if you want some pillows, I’ll get out grandma’s old sewing machine.”

And for once she was right. I now have what is possibly the grooviest bedroom in the modern world.


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Published in: on March 1, 2012 at 9:52 pm  Comments (2)