John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

Handwritten page of a diary dated May 6, 1964

…  all sitting around enjoying the night breeze and the crackle of the fire. We sang that Harry Belafonte song. The Jamaican one (I think it’s just called “Day Oh”) then we sang “Blowin’ in the Wind.” After that it got really quiet for a while and Mack and Mary were necking (as usual). Then all of a sudden Ronnie’s new neighbor (who he brought along even though none of us knew him) started singing “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” I’m almost certain I hadn’t heard it since summer camp and at first I thought it was really square (especially how loud he started singing it) but then I remembered that every time you start over, you sing it a little bit quieter and quieter. So by the end, it was kind of fun I suppose.


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Published in: on November 28, 2012 at 9:52 am  Comments (1)  

‘The West Wing’

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 27, 2001

…  guy I met in the cafeteria at work. We talked for about an hour and a half (even though I knew Nola would be really mad that I took a long lunch (which she was at first) (but I got out of it by telling her there was a new single guy in there today) (and since Nola’s been married a long time and she likes to live vicariously through my flirting, I can sometimes get away with murder). This guy just started working here but he told his supervisor he needed three weeks off to go to Mozambique to help flood victims and I told Nola that I said to this guy — “for a nickel, I’d go with you” and Nola said that guy should’ve reached in his pocket and found a nickel and put it on the table in front of me. Of course that would’ve been great but it never works that way in Real Life. The GUY is never the romantic one. It’s like on that “West Wing” when Donna is telling Josh about an old boyfriend who found out she had a car accident but he stopped to get a beer on his way to the hospital. Josh says “if you were in a car accident I wouldn’t stop on the way to the hospital for a beer” and Donna says “If you were in a car accident I wouldn’t stop on the way to the hospital for a red light.” Wow.

OK, the woman said the more romantic thing (of course) but I looked it up and the guy who writes all the “West Wing” shows is Aaron Sorkin (a MALE) and it did come out of his brain, so maybe there are a few out there.


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Published in: on November 21, 2012 at 6:41 am  Comments (1)  

‘Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz’

Handwritten page of a diary dated December 12, 1971

…  spent the ENTIRE day at church for Robbie’s confirmation. Oh and the little bit of the day I thought I would have to myself was spent making him a red bow tie!! (They told him to wear a red one because Christmas is coming up and he didn’t tell Mom until that morning so mom remembered I had sewed myself a red skirt and begged me to cut some fabric at the last minute. I didn’t even have a pattern or any time to sew the edges of it, but she said it will look just fine unless you’re standing right up close to him.) (That ugly tie got about ten million pictures taken of it).

Then my mom says the kids look so angelic and she asks them to sing a Christmas song for us. Nice going Mom, let’s drag this out about another hundred years and before you know it they’re singing “Away in a Manger” and it goes on and on and they keep singing the same verse over and over and over but nobody tells them to stop. And after about the 300th time they sing it I realize that the melody fits really well when you use the words to “Mercedes Benz” which is a new song I love by Janis Joplin. “Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz. My friends all drive Porches I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime no help from my friends. Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.” See, I told you it fits in the “Away in a Manger” melody.


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Free Fallin’

Handwritten page of a diary dated December 27, 1990

…  been trying to get him to come over so my parents could meet him. He said no again yesterday but I said oh come on it’s my birthday. So he FINALLY said yes. The part was ok when we all hung out in the kitchen for a little party. They seemed to like him and Dad said we could listen to records in my room if we kept the door open the whole time. It should’ve been a good time but we got to arguing about music and we couldn’t even think of ONE song that we both liked. He asked if I like Motley Crue and I said no. He said what do you like, Michael Bolton? which I found insulting so I said I like “Janie’s Got a Gun” by Aerosmith. But he said he didn’t like Steven Tyler because he wears women’s scarves. Finally I thought we were getting somewhere when he mentioned Tom Petty, but the song he likes is “Free Fallin’” which is about the only Tom Petty song I DON’T like. I know I’m picky about lyrics but I hate it when someone keeps repeating the same phrase over and over and over. I think it started that summer when Maggie came to stay for a long time and she kept playing “Rock Me Amadeus” a million times and I thought I would scream if I ever heard the name Amadeus again.


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