Merry Christmas Florida-style

merry xmas Florida style

Handwritten page of a diary dated November 12, 1988

…  her xmas cards are NOT “awesome” like she keeps saying. As if I care what cards she sends out. She said the colors on the card remind her of Florida where she is saving up to buy a condo for her upcoming retirement. Florida Florida Florida. I picked up the phone today and I said “Hello” and it’s Grandma singing “Rhythm is Gonna Get You” by Gloria Estefan, and she’s lucky I even recognized what song it was considering she’s about the worst singer who was ever born in central New Jersey (and I’ve heard some bad ones in my school) (which is a good reason why our choir teacher needs to stop telling everyone that louder is always better).

I told Grandma that even if she chooses Miami instead of Tampa, I doubt if the condo she buys will be in Gloria Estefan’s neighborhood. Seriously. She said “I know that, but it is possible that I might run into her in a restaurant some day.”


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Published in: on March 25, 2013 at 4:34 am  Comments (1)  

‘Ramble On’

ramble on

Handwritten page of a diary dated April 4, 1970

…  for two years!!! and she always said no. And now all of a sudden she says we can join this particular record club. I got excited till I saw how few choices there were. Man, in the old days there were ten times that many choices in a magazine ad for a record club. Then I saw Dean Martin was on there and yeah, makes more sense because she loves Dean Martin soooooo much. And she wants the little record player for her own bedroom.

The only thing I see on there that I want is Led Zeppelin II, but that cartoony album cover they show is NOT the real one, so who knows? Maybe it’s the songs of Led Zeppelin covered by the Lawrence Welk Orchestra or something. I mean a year ago I might’ve wanted the Blood Sweat & Tears. And I already have every Steppenwolf and Three Dog Night album, so great, thanks Mom. Have fun with your teeny tiny little baby plastic speakers.


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Handwritten page of a diary dated January 5, 1978

…  first time I’ve learned something from a New Year’s Eve party.

I was having a conversation with J.P. (he still can’t believe I never gave in and went to see his new favorite movie GREASE) and I got tired of him yammering about it but luckily we were right by the snack table. I thought wow — pretzels are amazing. I need to buy some pretzels and eat them all the time. And I did. And now it’s what? three days later and I’m already tired of them. So that’s when I deduced that you can feel pretty ho-hum about stuff if you have it all the time. I have the perfect name for this theory because at that party I heard the whole new Steely Dan Album, and my favorite song on it was conveniently called Pretzelogic, a perfect name for my theory about pretzels (and other things in life that you like but you get on a regular basis.) J.P. said he would never feel that way about sex … or movies he likes (he got a new Betamax for Xmas and he said sooner or later Grease will get released on tape and he will watch it every day of his life after that). I’m almost sure his chances of getting that movie on tape are better than the chances of him having sex every day of his life).


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Published in: on March 2, 2013 at 10:55 pm  Leave a Comment