the body electric


Handwritten page of a diary dated November 14, 1972

…  before she would even sign my permission slip to go to the museum with my class, she had to ask me a few thousand questions. She was pacing the floor thinking of all the things that could go wrong. She said “What if the teacher doesn’t watch you and someone grabs you while you’re in the big city?” I said to her the same thing she always says to me: “Look at you, so nervous in the service.”

Then at the museum I saw an actual dead person’s central nervous system. I asked our guide lady what happens when a person actually gets “nervous” and she said, “Well, we would need a doctor to explain that, but I do know that there’s electrical activity when nerves are activated.” She probably wishes she hadn’t said that because then a bunch of guys in my class started asking all kinds of other stupid questions like “if nerves are activated near the blood, why don’t we get electrocuted like we would if the hair dryer falls in our bathtub full of water?” and “Do we have enough electricity in us to power an electric popcorn popper?”


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Published in: on June 12, 2013 at 8:26 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Playboy Club?

playboy club

Handwritten page of a diary dated August 5, 1965

…  and he only let me borrow the matchbook if I swore on Grandma Brown’s big old Bible that I would not use more than two of the matches which I figured would be easy enough since I don’t even smoke myself. Besides Marty down at the Riviera is the only person I wanted to impress by having these matches anyway.

So I go down there Saturday and as always Marty pulls out a cigarette and he says “Got a match?” and I said “Not since Superman died” and everybody laughs even though it’s the stupidest joke I ever told because really if you think about it Superman isn’t even dead. So he says “Hey, Jokemeister, do you have a match or not, and I pull out the matches in a way that I can be sure he’ll see the cover. And he whistles and says “Whoa Gentlemen, look who has been to the swankiest spot in town” and he shows it to everyone and they’re looking at me like they don’t believe I went there, but they’re not just exactly 100 percent sure.


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Published in: on June 2, 2013 at 4:21 am  Leave a Comment