‘Bring more sweaters’

Handwritten page of a diary dated November 23, 1978

which by the way, Walter shouldn’t even have been included in the Thanksgiving Day family picture, since he technically isn’t even a member of the family. Luckily he was standing on the end, so when Mom mails me my copy I can get out the old scissors and lop him right off like he was never there at all.

After Grandpa’s neighbor takes the picture for us, we go back indoors and pretty soon my sister Patsy goes in to ask Grandpa, can we turn up the thermostat because Walter is cold. Then Grandpa says if Walter is cold why can’t he put on a sweater and Walter says he’s already wearing two sweaters and Grandpa says I guess that means you need three and Walter says he didn’t bring another sweater and Grandpa says he can borrow the big heavy one that’s hanging on the hook by the back door.

So the turkey and the gravy were good and the pie was good and everything was nice and peaceful after we ate, until Walter started another tizzy when he wanted to watch his new favorite show Mork and Mindy, but Grandpa wanted to watch the Waltons.

When Walter was ready to leave, Grandpa says to him that if Patsy still likes him by Christmas, he’d better bring more sweaters. We all laughed. But we all know with Patsy’s attention span being so short, we’ll never have to see Walter again.


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Published in: on November 11, 2019 at 1:26 am  Comments (1)  

‘Big Black Boots’

Handwritten page of a diary dated December 15, 2004

cruel. Giving us homework to do over Christmas break? Seriously? This is not like elementary school where you get a summer reading checklist. This is supposed to be college.

Stupid English professor stands there (looking like Tom Hanks’ grandpa) and says “Start a blog.” I know he’s probably doing this so he can log in to see how well we write. But blogs are just a giant bummer. Oh, my feelings, my feelings. There’s a reason that the diary I had in junior high had a lock on it — the way personal feelings should be protected. Not splayed out as if everyone wants to know every whiny thing thought by someone else.

AND before we write it, we have to submit a PROPOSAL for him to approve. I start writing:

I will analyze the lyrics of my favorite songs. Like “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” by Jet. For instance, this line: “Now you don’t need money when you look like that, do you honey?” I will experiment by going out some night with no money, just my “big black boots” and “long brown hair.” In my blog I will report whether I really didn’t need any money.

HA! Now I’m just waiting to see whether my proposal gets the green light.


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Published in: on November 1, 2019 at 2:27 am  Comments (1)