‘Do what you wanna do’


Handwritten page of a diary dated November 24, 1966

… first time i ever slept in Granny’s attic, um, I don’t know but I think by the time I was old enough to realize it seemed like it belonged in a scary movie, I was kind of used to it. I slept there every time we went to visit her. The first time I bumped my head on that leaning tower of Piza wall, I was about 10 so I told Granny that it would make more sense to make the bed with the pillow on the other end of the bed but she said then if I moved too much in the night I’d knock the pillows “clean off the bed.”  And she said it would be like sleeping upside down, which made me laugh but she didn’t laugh.

So I had to wait till she tucked me in and after she left I shifted the whole operation. But I felt so guilty. Like if she came back in for some reason and didn’t see my head by the wall she’d be all wigged out. Which never happened by the way. She still doesn’t know about it. And I’ve been doing it for a few years! EVERY TIME WE GO THERE!

Advice to my future self. If there’s something you want to do, just do it. It’s like that song on Belinda’s Mamas & the Papas album: “Go where you wanna go. Do what you wanna do.” I mean not like a bank heist or something like that. But, you know.


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Published in: on August 27, 2016 at 3:27 am  Leave a Comment  

“come on strong!!”

%22come on strong!!%22

Handwritten page of a diary dated November 14, 1966

…  water balloon contest. And it was nice of him to take me inside his house since I was dripping wet. Their phone was ringing but before he answered it he pointed to a chest of drawers and told me to look in the bottom drawer if I wanted a dry shirt. I found his Beatles T-shirt (which is really too small for him anyway and I wish he’d tell me to just keep it) and this magazine page fell from the drawer onto the floor.

By the time he came in the room I had changed into his shirt (in the closet just in case) and I was reading the page. He said, “I don’t really read Playboy all the time – uh, sorry – but I know I’ll need a suit for the winter formal and I was going to ask you if you liked this blue one.”

I said “I don’t care if you read Playboy. I really don’t. But there is something wrong with this advertisement.”

He said, “You don’t like that guys hair …” and I said “Yes he looks like a squeaky clean Tony Curtis, but that’s not it either.” So he kept looking at it and couldn’t find anything wrong. So I finally told him about the book “The Feminine Mystique” which my aunt loaned me. But he obviously had never heard of it so I had to tell him the gist of it. Women don’t need for you to “come on strong with the exclamation points. They don’t need men to be in charge of everything.” I made him read the first sentence of the advertisement — which said “Get that DOMINATING feeling in the Forward Fashion Suit.” Then he asked if he promised that we went to prom as equal partners — then would I like the suit and I said “Sure. In that case. As long as you don’t comb your hair like Tony Curtis.”


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VW bus

Volkswagen van

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 15, 1966

…  since Grandpa’s house smells like old people ever since Great Grandma moved in with him. But then I asked him if I could park my van behind his garage for the summer (because it is his very own daughter who is driving me out of our house by saying that if she hears my radio playing the Beaker Street show on that Little Rock station ONE MORE NIGHT she will make me move in the basement with Uncle Dwayne) (the chainsmoker) (and she will turn my bedroom into a sewing room).

So Grandpa not only said yes I could live back there beside his old truck, but he got some old circus tent out of his garage and draped it around a porta-potty. He calls it my “privy.” I thanked him about a hundred billion times and he said some day when I’m “rollin’ in clover” I can pay him back by giving him a little cottage on the grounds of my estate. So I said “Deal.”


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Published in: on January 6, 2013 at 2:27 pm  Comments (2)  

Pretend you’re dancing

Handwritten page of a diary dated April 2, 1966

boy-girl birthday party was kind of a success EXCEPT two things that went horribly terrible.

1. Jill showed up wearing slacks when I TOLD her about a million times that we were all going to wear skirts. She didn’t even seem too concerned about it, but I was kind of embarrassed for her.

2. My mom went into a happy tizzy because it was the first time she met Tommy. He wanted to make a good impression on her, so he wore a sport jacket and tie (which was above and beyond the call of duty). Right in front of him she said we were “a cute couple in SPITE of me wearing enough eyeliner for about ten normal girls and Cher — of Sonny and Cher fame.” That was bad enough but then later she sent my Uncle Harry in to the rec room to take pictures and he made us all stand still in a pose, including some of us pretending to dance when there wasn’t even a record on at the time! The other five didn’t seem to mind it too much — except me. I was only pretending to smile when actually I felt like crawling under the couch!


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Published in: on August 3, 2012 at 8:22 am  Comments (1)