‘Whatever you want’

white-prom-dress

Handwritten page of a diary dated April 14, 1989

… had THIS conversation with Mom:

Mom: “But Rita’s son is such a sweet sweet boy.”

Me: “No.”

“You don’t have a date yet.”

“Prom isn’t for another month. There’s plenty of time.”

“This would mean so much to Rita if you went with Carl, and I owe her a huge favor.”

“No.”

“You could go with him this year and then next year, when you’re a senior, you could choose who to go with.”

“What will you give me?”

“Whatever you want.”

“That’s funny because ‘Whatever you want’ is my favorite thing.”

“I’ll buy you that white dress you tried on.”

“I thought you said I couldn’t get it because it looked too much like a wedding dress.”

“Well, it does, but …”

“And you said I had to get one with straps.”

“Well, it is kind of skimpy on top and tight all over, but I’ll get it if you promise to smile when you’re with Carl.”

Original image:
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Published in: on November 6, 2016 at 12:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

I’ll be in the van listening to the James Gang

vw van with privy

Handwritten page of a diary dated May 19, 1972

…  surprised I made it through my senior year. I was not focused at all. A teacher once said “Seems to me …” and I didn’t hear the end of the sentence because all I really heard was “Seems to me … you don’t wanna talk about it. Seems to me … you just turn your pretty head and walk away.” James Gang record — so good AND they’re from right here in CLEVELAND!!!!!

I can’t help it. I like rock and roll. I can’t help it that my goobery brother makes me look bad because he has decided he wants to study actuarial science. Who decides that when they’re a junior in high school? Huh?

So my grandpa has decided that I need to get a job this summer before I go to college and I said what if I don’t and he told me to sit on the “daveno” so we could have a discussion about it. Who calls it a daveno? Geez Grandpa you old geezer, it’s called a davenport. It’s not the 50s any more. So he sat there and said maybe he would start charging me rent this summer because when he was my age he was already in the army and saving up money to get married. Whoa Nellie, I’m not planning on either one of those things. So I said I’d live in my VW van this summer. And he said there’s no “privy” in there. And I said I’d rig something up.

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Hold your head UP

45 record case

Handwritten page of a diary dated August 1, 1972

…  then my idiot brother comes home from downtown and here’s the problem — he bought a 45 and then decided he needed the dollar for something else he wants to buy tomorrow, so he comes up with the idea that I have to buy it off him. So pretty soon we were fighting because I wasn’t about to buy his rejects.

Then this fight gets so loud that my dad gets involved like he’s gong to be the judge, and he asks me, did I tell Kenny to buy this record for me and I said no. And because I’ve been through one of these “TRIALS” before I had my two good reasons lined up.
1. My 45s case is already too full of records and next time I buy one it won’t fit in there.
2. Even if I did decide to get rid of one of my 45s to fit a new one in, I would rather have “Hold your Head Up” by Argent and NOT the stupid short version of “Layla” that he bought. Come on!!!! When I get Layla, it will be when I can afford the whole Derek and the Dominos album!

Then my dad says those are good reasons and he starts giving a long lecture saying Kenny is suffering from “buyer’s remorse” and he dealt with that all the time when he was selling Real Estate. (And why did I get dragged into another long lecture when I was just minding my own business???)

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Published in: on September 6, 2013 at 1:32 am  Leave a Comment  

Her most embarrassing moment

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 22, 1972

so if you ever wanted to know if you can feel sorry for someone you hate, the answer is yes. I mean yeah Melissa gets on my nerves almost once a day and when she decided to have this slumber party Mom asked if I would sleep on that rusty cot in the attic so they could fit two girls in my bed! Are you kidding me!
 Last night her loud friends filled up our house and I started wishing Melissa would get a terminal illness in the next 10 minutes and do a lot of quiet but painful suffering before her death.
The first time I passed by the living room I saw that she probably also wished she could die because Dad was playing the guitar and singing Michael Row the Boat Ashore and the girls were laughing kinda nervouslike but you know that didn’t stop him. Then the next time I went by on my way to the attic Dad was singing the theme from Love Story and it was even sappier than the way Andy Williams sings it on the radio:


“How long does it last ?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say,
I know I’ll need her till the stars all burn awaaaay …”


Poor Melissa, her little face was frozen in shock.


“… And sheeeee’ll be there.”

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