Join the club


Handwritten page of a diary dated September 15, 2000

… sent home a note to parents that it was time to join clubs for the coming semester. I almost didn’t give it to her because I knew she was going to stick her nose in my decision. And yes she asked me what clubs I was thinking about and I told her Video Gaming.

She said, “How much Duke Nukem can one boy play?”

I said “Duke Nukem is practically an antique.”

She asked if there wasn’t some other club I might actually get something out of, so I said “I don’t know Mom, maybe the Gay-Straight Alliance would give me the chance to talk through some things.”

That didn’t exactly get the reaction I expected so I said “Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m gay?”

She said she wouldn’t mind if I was gay but she knows I’m not and I said how do you know that and she said she didn’t think a gay boy would hang a half-naked picture of Carmen Electra by his bed.

Good point Mom. Good point.


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Published in: on June 5, 2016 at 6:55 pm  Comments (1)  

“Pink Moon”

full moon and empty arms

Handwritten page of a diary dated March 1, 2000

…  get out on the terrace and there’s a giant pink moon. So I start singing “Pink Moon” from that Volkswagen commercial. It’s still my favorite commercial of all time. These four friends are driving out in the middle of nowhere to find a party and they get there only to decide the party looks lame compared to driving around in their Cabrio under the pink moon — and from having gone to a million of those, I can say they made the right decision. The problem is that after driving on obscure roads for half an hour, you can’t just get there and see that it’s lame and say, “well, I can’t stay long but I was just in the neighborhood so I thought I’d drop in.” You were so not in the neighborhood.

Then Grandma comes out on the terrace and I point to the moon, and she says it reminds her of a song, and I say “yeah, right?” and I start singing like Nick Drake, “pink pink pink pink … pink moon” and she starts singing “full moon and empty arms, the moon is there for us to share but where are you?” I said that’s a new one on me and she said it was sung by Eddie Fisher, and I said who’s Eddie Fisher and she said “Remember when you were little and you liked Princess Leia? It’s her father”

I said “sorry Grandma, but Princess Leia’s father is Darth Vader.”


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