Bow tie

Handwritten page of a diary dated May 15, 1977

… could barely get him to settle down long enough to take a picture of him, because he COULD NOT STOP SINGING. It drives me crazy. For some reason, every time he gets a bow tie on, he feels the need to sing. Which means our walk to church is the most embarrassing thing in this world.

Today he started singing “Some one’s knocking at the door, someone’s ringing the bell, do me a favor and let ‘em in.” And I want to cringe because Paul McCartney used to be good. But now, what the heck?

That was bad enough, but at least he didn’t scream it out like the new song grandma decided to teach him — which was “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” That stupid song. She told him it’s meant to be sung loud, which is exactly how he sang it all the rest of the way to church and all the way home.


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Published in: on February 16, 2019 at 4:13 pm  Comments (2)  

Red cowgirl boots

red cowboy boots

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 12, 2006

…  because you can hardly believe two sisters came from the same parents because they are not alike in any possible way you could imagine. like even when my mom has a day off from work she still looks like she belongs playing golf at the country club — but my aunt wears red cowboy boots almost every day (oh sorry. she says they’re cowGIRL boots)

i was at the mall Saturday with mom and aunt may and we were eating tacos at the food court when JUSTIN walked in with his new girlfriend (yes I do know her name but I might throw up if I type it)

aunt may knew about my bad breakup but she had never seen justin so my mom made the mistake of pointing him out. then aunt may says she’s going to go “rag him out” and I said Please Don’t You’ll Make It Unbelievably Embarrassing. so she says He’s The One Who Should Be Embarrassed and then she gets this plan in which she is going to go over there and start dancing around and singing “dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me.” ive seen her dance before when there’s nobody around but us and it’s bad enough believe me but if she sang that i would’ve DIED EVEN MORE. so i gave mom a horrified look and right away mom told aunt may that if she started to walk over by justin she’d tackle her to the ground.

wow. mom. thanks. once in a while you rock.


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Published in: on January 16, 2013 at 2:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

Her most embarrassing moment

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 22, 1972

so if you ever wanted to know if you can feel sorry for someone you hate, the answer is yes. I mean yeah Melissa gets on my nerves almost once a day and when she decided to have this slumber party Mom asked if I would sleep on that rusty cot in the attic so they could fit two girls in my bed! Are you kidding me!
 Last night her loud friends filled up our house and I started wishing Melissa would get a terminal illness in the next 10 minutes and do a lot of quiet but painful suffering before her death.
The first time I passed by the living room I saw that she probably also wished she could die because Dad was playing the guitar and singing Michael Row the Boat Ashore and the girls were laughing kinda nervouslike but you know that didn’t stop him. Then the next time I went by on my way to the attic Dad was singing the theme from Love Story and it was even sappier than the way Andy Williams sings it on the radio:

“How long does it last ?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say,
I know I’ll need her till the stars all burn awaaaay …”

Poor Melissa, her little face was frozen in shock.

“… And sheeeee’ll be there.”


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