‘Do what you wanna do’


Handwritten page of a diary dated November 24, 1966

… first time i ever slept in Granny’s attic, um, I don’t know but I think by the time I was old enough to realize it seemed like it belonged in a scary movie, I was kind of used to it. I slept there every time we went to visit her. The first time I bumped my head on that leaning tower of Piza wall, I was about 10 so I told Granny that it would make more sense to make the bed with the pillow on the other end of the bed but she said then if I moved too much in the night I’d knock the pillows “clean off the bed.”  And she said it would be like sleeping upside down, which made me laugh but she didn’t laugh.

So I had to wait till she tucked me in and after she left I shifted the whole operation. But I felt so guilty. Like if she came back in for some reason and didn’t see my head by the wall she’d be all wigged out. Which never happened by the way. She still doesn’t know about it. And I’ve been doing it for a few years! EVERY TIME WE GO THERE!

Advice to my future self. If there’s something you want to do, just do it. It’s like that song on Belinda’s Mamas & the Papas album: “Go where you wanna go. Do what you wanna do.” I mean not like a bank heist or something like that. But, you know.


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Published in: on August 27, 2016 at 3:27 am  Leave a Comment  

‘I want to paint it black’

Handwritten page of a diary dated June 15, 1966

… said I could use the big hi fi in the living room, but I’ve listened to my new 45 so many times I know all the words now.

“I see a red door and I want it painted black.”

I told mom if anyone called me she should give them the phone number over here — but if Grandma keeps talking all day and all night then I’m not going to get the call I’ve been waiting for the most, am I?

“I could not foresee this thing happening to you.”

I saw Mick Jagger’s picture in a magazine once. He really does look like he’s thinking impure thoughts, like I’ve been warned about getting from rock and roll music. But sometimes I listen to the Mamas and the Papas and John Phillips looks like he is living a pretty clean life.

Oh I just looked over and noticed Grandma’s back door is red, and I really do want to paint it black. Maybe rock and roll music does influence teenagers.


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Published in: on February 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm  Leave a Comment