‘Whatever you want’


Handwritten page of a diary dated April 14, 1989

… had THIS conversation with Mom:

Mom: “But Rita’s son is such a sweet sweet boy.”

Me: “No.”

“You don’t have a date yet.”

“Prom isn’t for another month. There’s plenty of time.”

“This would mean so much to Rita if you went with Carl, and I owe her a huge favor.”


“You could go with him this year and then next year, when you’re a senior, you could choose who to go with.”

“What will you give me?”

“Whatever you want.”

“That’s funny because ‘Whatever you want’ is my favorite thing.”

“I’ll buy you that white dress you tried on.”

“I thought you said I couldn’t get it because it looked too much like a wedding dress.”

“Well, it does, but …”

“And you said I had to get one with straps.”

“Well, it is kind of skimpy on top and tight all over, but I’ll get it if you promise to smile when you’re with Carl.”

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Published in: on November 6, 2016 at 12:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

Hold your head UP

45 record case

Handwritten page of a diary dated August 1, 1972

…  then my idiot brother comes home from downtown and here’s the problem — he bought a 45 and then decided he needed the dollar for something else he wants to buy tomorrow, so he comes up with the idea that I have to buy it off him. So pretty soon we were fighting because I wasn’t about to buy his rejects.

Then this fight gets so loud that my dad gets involved like he’s gong to be the judge, and he asks me, did I tell Kenny to buy this record for me and I said no. And because I’ve been through one of these “TRIALS” before I had my two good reasons lined up.
1. My 45s case is already too full of records and next time I buy one it won’t fit in there.
2. Even if I did decide to get rid of one of my 45s to fit a new one in, I would rather have “Hold your Head Up” by Argent and NOT the stupid short version of “Layla” that he bought. Come on!!!! When I get Layla, it will be when I can afford the whole Derek and the Dominos album!

Then my dad says those are good reasons and he starts giving a long lecture saying Kenny is suffering from “buyer’s remorse” and he dealt with that all the time when he was selling Real Estate. (And why did I get dragged into another long lecture when I was just minding my own business???)

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Published in: on September 6, 2013 at 1:32 am  Leave a Comment  

the baby the baby the baby

Handwritten page of a diary dated May 2, 2002

and sure, the new niece is cute, but everyone is just staring at her ALL the time. I started wondering what Justin was doing.

I found him in his room playing some video game. He kept crashing his car off the road, so I told him if he ever got his real-life driver’s license I was going to move to a different town. I asked him why he wasn’t out there at the party and he said “the baby the baby the baby.” I said “Yeah” and he said  “Hey everybody look how cute the baby is” and I laughed. I told him they used to do the same thing when he was a baby and he said “Really?” I said “Sure, I couldn’t get any attention around this place if I stood on my head and played the fiddle.”

Then he paused the computer and started listening to me talk. No matter what I said, he stared at me and nodded, even when I talked about how showers used to have a good hard spray and you could really get rid of a headache or work the kinks out of your back muscles but now we have these crappy low-flow shower heads that just trickle a drop of water on you about once a minute. So I just kept talking and talking. Even I run out of things to say eventually, so I started this game, asking him questions. Like “Which would you rather do: go to school wearing only your Rugrats underwear — OR — eat a pizza with dead worms on it?”


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Published in: on June 13, 2011 at 11:40 am  Comments (2)